Relativity
by nakala
Summary: He couldn't touch her and truthfully he had never wanted to, but then again, he hadn't thought about it before. Series of oneshots surrounding mostly Sally and Josh, with some Aidan.
1. Chapter 1

**Been watching season 1 of Being Human and while watching the episode where Sally sees Josh change I came up with this. This is my take. Hope you like it. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

He didn't know why he was thinking about Sally, or death, or the one time a month he became something other. He'd only seen her a few times in the two weeks since she'd apologized for her complete and utter ignorance. He had tried time and time again to get her to understand his particular predicament, but being the slightly vapid, young woman she was, she never really grasped his point. Admittedly, he should have been fine that he proved his point, as unintentional as it was. He should have felt validated by her foolishness, but he didn't. He felt guilty.

She was dead and even if she wasn't subjected to monthly torture, she still had feelings and he saw on a daily basis how deep those feelings ran. The trembling house, glass breaking, the flickering lights. He saw how alone she was. Robbed of her life. Denied the liveliness he caught in her eyes on occasion.

He sat at the kitchen table slurping his morning coffee when she phased in perching herself on the counter beside the sink.

"Hey, Josh, whatcha doin'? Why so glum?"

"Oh, uh, nothing. Just thinking."

"About the full moon?" She radiated pity and sympathy for his curse.

"Yeah. I mean, no, kind of." Josh calmed himself. "And about you." He faced her wearing the same or maybe even more miserable expression.

Sally didn't know what to say. She didn't know what he was thinking and replying or trying to make small talk until he decided to speak his mind had the potential to make her look stupid, which she did enough in front of Josh as it was. He wasn't the type to dismiss ignorance or let it slide. He made sure she knew where her shortcomings were. Even with those big, brown, doe eyes, she knew there was a wolf underneath, even if he didn't.

She sat in silence waiting for him to continue, if he would.

They didn't hit it off like she and Aidan. Aidan had, in a manner of speaking, embraced her. He immediately took her under his wing, offering her the help she didn't know she needed. Even wrangled Josh into helping her, in spite of his indifference to her plight. Aidan was primed for accepting her. His days among the living numbered over two centuries; he was the biggest baddest thing out there, a ghost couldn't harm him nor could it disrupt his way of life. She wasn't an inconvenience to him. To him, she was a troubled soul who hadn't gotten her door and needed the help because the longer she was stuck like this, the better her chances of losing her mind and becoming a malevolent spirit. In turn, he'd become her friend without the awkward _you're a ghost this is weird thing_ Josh did.

Josh.

But she got it. He was human much longer than he had been a supernatural being, or, as he liked to refer to them, monsters. He was the person to inform her of that. He was also the one who told her she needed to move on from Danny, her murderer. Although, his way of doing it wasn't exactly the sensitive approach. But Sally knew that was just Josh. Neurotic, uptight, slightly judgmental, a borderline hypocrite. However, she couldn't refute that he was often right.

He had never been more right in referring to her as a monster. And to the nth degree, she was a monster, haunting a house, her fiancé, her naïve best friend. She was a monster despite not wanting to be labeled as one.

In all her months as a ghost, she hadn't felt more like one than when she'd tore into Josh for being a coward and blowing his situation out of proportion. Sure, she had it bad. Hello, she was dead, but she never considered what Josh was going through. That night of the full moon, when she watched him change, she learned differently. She finally understood the anxiety and insane caution. Just because he still had life flowing through his physical veins didn't make his monstrosity any less than hers. She also hated that it took her childlike wonder to realize it.

Josh cleared his throat drawing Sally from her thoughts. He didn't speak right away. He did open and close his mouth with his lips taking the form of words he wasn't sure he could say. He always had a hard time formulating the thoughts in his mind into actual coherent statements. He ran his hand through his hair mussing it up then scratched the back of his neck before clutching the sides of his neck with his hands. He was at a loss. He took a sip of his coffee tossed Sally a nervous smirk quirking his eyebrows.

Taking a deep breath, he expelled it over several seconds. He was finally ready to say what he thought he needed to.

"I think worse is relative."

Sally opened her mouth to interject and he held up a hand to stop her. "You don't get to find love. Not anymore, didn't really have the real thing when you were alive, which I'm so sorry for. You deserved better. You don't get to feel, or touch. You'll never experience intimacy and all the small things that make it up. You don't get the worry that I do because you have the _opportunity_ to have something so close to real with someone as normal as Nora. You don't get to live. You are living, but not living and I didn't think about that. Is it comparable? I don't know, but we shouldn't be comparing."

"But Josh-" she popped up in the chair adjacent to him.

He hushed her. She was a ditz, but a very apologetic ditz with a big heart. "You were down and upset. I understand. I should have understood better then."

"Thank you."

He smiled relieved. "No problem."

He couldn't touch her and truthfully he had never wanted to. Too enraptured in his own pity party and monitoring the crazy and bizarre surrounding Aidan. If he didn't, the vampire would get into trouble, which he did anyway. He didn't have the time for Sally's ghost's problems because he and Aidan were dealing with life and death evils. He needed to contain himself, keep humans at a distance, and Aidan needed watching. Since Rebecca, he'd been on edge slipping up making mistakes, killing people, feeding live. Josh didn't have time for a ghost who wasn't smart enough to realize she was dead and her life was over.

He'd trade with her in an instant. To be free of his curse without worry of hurting anyone. He had thought death would have been better than the fractured fragments of a life he lived. That was before further observation and inspection and stepping outside of himself. Not to mention experiencing her troubled soul. Taking her current erratic moods in consideration caused him to think twice on the matter. One minute she was this bubbly little thing, all full up happiness brimming over, then out of nowhere she was a brooding, drenched, scorned woman crushed by her fiancé's betrayal and her plight as a spirit.

He often thought if he could pass on, find his door, maybe then, death would be more agreeable than what he had now. But what if death wasn't the end? What if he had to watch everyone go on living their lives with no idea he was there in the wind_ not _living his own life. Present but just a figment.

He hadn't thought about that before; therefore, he had never felt the need to comfort the specter or reassure her that he was there for her. That was different after.

After she'd shown more humanity in her death than most living he knew possessed. Now as he eyed her hands balled up resting on the table, he wished to all he believed in that his immortal flesh wouldn't pass through her incorporeal being. Josh wanted, for the first time since meeting her, to let her know that just like Aidan he was there for her and understood her troubles without trivializing them as he had so many times. She was dead. Sometimes it didn't get much worse than that, and for once, he acknowledged it.

He didn't know if his words would help, but they were all he had. He could reach for her hand and grab the air where they were, which would only remind her of her inadequacy, or he could give her something she could hold onto without actual use of her hands.

"Sally."

"Yeah, Josh."

"I know how things between us have been in the past…I just want you to know you can count on me. If you need me, I'll be here."

The sun shined in her smile as she nodded her head and her eyes glossed over with tears. She had so much to say, when didn't she, but the only thing she could manage through her muted tears was a soft "thank you."

**nakala**


	2. Chapter 2

**Set after Sally meets the "reaper" and he gives her the ultimatum in season 2.**

There's a saying of being alone in a crowd. She had no one. Sure she had Josh and Aidan and Zoe, kind of. She even had her mom briefly. But she didn't. She didn't have anyone.

She was irrefutably alone.

They tried. Josh especially, but it wasn't enough. They weren't enough for each other. Aidan was traipsing around with a psychopath and drinking live. It was a problem, but it was his problem and he didn't want any help from neither Josh nor Sally. Addicts must admit to their knowledge of the fact before they truly begin to recover. At least he was an ear to listen. Josh had the purebloods and Nora's off the wall behavior. The woman he loved was losing her mind, going off the rails. She wasn't coping well with being a wolf, and the possibility of freedom was overwhelmingly enticing. He was responsible. For her. For her actions. His actions the reaction to her actions.

They didn't have time. They couldn't be bothered or maybe they were too bothered. Josh and Aidan had someone other than themselves to worry with. Someone, something other than their own voices in their head driving them insane.

Sally tried. It was forbidden, but she was tired of being alone. Tired of not feeling. She needed to feel. Be felt. She didn't have the two people she thought she would always have.

It didn't take long for her to become addicted. Dr. Tim saw her, not her, but he wasn't looking through her, so, she was more than happy, despite the consequences and wicked hangover or whatever you called the day after a possession, to borrow his girlfriend's body for a few hours a day.

She knew it was wearing her thin but she couldn't stop. It was all she had. Tim was all she had. The only person that cared for her. Cared enough.

She didn't need Josh's condemning or Aidan's understanding to give it up, though. In the end, an object lesson in being trapped in a person and possibly ruining that person's life did it for her. Scared her straight. She gave up her freedom, did the right thing no matter how belatedly.

The reaper was coming to take her away. Or give her his job.

She'd rather die.

She was finally going to move on, if against her wishes.

She waited around for them. Aidan said he'd be right home, but he forgot.

She was used to it. She couldn't expect them to change their life for her or put her first for once. Nope, she understood. She always understood.

She heard him come in the middle of the night but she didn't try to get his attention or make herself seen. She didn't have to; Aidan always just seemed to know. So it was no surprise when he appeared in front of her looking worse for wear and in quite the hurry.

"I'm late. I know I said I'd be right back. I'm sorry. How are you? Are you okay?"

Sally plastered on a smile. He didn't really have the time, and it wouldn't matter anyway; her fate was determined. At least he tried. She hadn't seen Josh in ages. "Yeah."

He was fidgety. Eyes darting around. He needed to go. He probably needed blood. Live blood. She could sympathize; it wasn't long ago that she'd had cravings.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Go ahead. "

Aidan ran up the stairs and flew back down and out the door in seconds leaving Sally alone once again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Set somewhere before season 2 finale and after Julia dies during the eclipse. Very AU (I think). In this world, Nora didn't come back. **

She'd told them. Sally had warned them that something was wrong. Not that Josh needed her belated warning. He could tell that something was off about her. She was different more aloof, less her sanguine perky self. He wouldn't say a darkness loomed over her, but there was something tangibly different about her, but his focus was too torn to narrow it down or to even try. He was too mixed up with protecting Nora from the glamorization of pureblood wolf-life, and keeping tabs on Aidan. Things were going haywire. He couldn't take her seriously, she had to be doing it for attention or Sally must have been mistaken. Someone or something was after her, but he hadn't seen or heard of anything like what she kept describing, not even two centuries old Aidan had any idea.

How could they have known?

How could Josh have known she was as lonely as she was or losing her mind. He didn't find out the most important things until everything was out of control. Her possessions. She'd gotten stuck in the poor innocent woman before he knew she was even doing anything. Of course, he was insanely aware of the fact that he was always in a rush and barely had time for his own thoughts with getting Nora out of trouble, killing vampires for Nora, plotting to kill the purebloods to get Nora away from them, and deal with his ex-fiancé's return to _his_ life. And need he reiterate how lost and wayward Aidan had become. The guy was over 200 years old; he should be more stable for crying out loud. He should be the most reliable of the three. He was a big boy, but not Sally. She was naïve and innocent. She'd been murdered before she had a chance to develop into the person she was meant to be. Essentially, she needed him more than Aidan did, but he couldn't take care of them both. Also, let's not forget that no one told Josh about any of this.

It was all new to Josh – he couldn't believe what he'd seen. She was the ghostly edition of Linda Blair – much more dangerous and terrifying. Sure, Josh was sincere enough when he'd offered some platitude of relativity, mostly to placate himself, but he wasn't having psychotic breaks and creating ghost murdering alternate egos because he was lonely and didn't know how to deal with his anger and frustration. At this point, he wasn't too sold on that relativity bit he'd fed her himself. Even Stu had told him being dead was worse. Could he be wrong?

"Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped."

Sally sat bundled in the farthest corner of the living room staring into space. She didn't really spring back into 'old Sally' after they'd rescued her from her spirit coma. She tended to amble around mostly silent and pensive; he assumed. She was still different.

She snapped her head in his direction causing the lights to flicker and the floor to tremble. "Because you're a little self-absorbed and not very helpful in the most conventional ways." Sally cocked her head then slowly rolled it back to what Josh thought was just an empty chair.

Josh's head reeled back, as if she'd just smacked him, as he stuttered and stammered before getting his first word out. "What? I am _very _helpful." He couldn't believe his ears. The ungrateful-

"No, Josh, you like to shove condescendingly _helpful_ advice down people's throats. You don't actually _do_ anything. For me. For Aidan, your best friend. What do you actually _do_ besides complain, and whine, and reprimand until it's too late then you literally bleed for us – or should I say Aidan, or so I'm told. But Josh, have you ever heard of too little too late?"

She didn't raise her voice or turn to face him; she just sounded dreadfully bored and annoyed. All of which unexpectedly excited Josh who was ill prepared for the fury that flamed inside his chest. "Of course I have, Sally. That's been the leading theme of my life lately. With you, with Nora, with Julia. I'm always too late. And don't get me started on Aidan – he's-"

"You don't get it, Josh," Sally scowled flippantly.

Before the apathetic ghost registered any movement, Josh was on the floor with his face centimeters away from hers. If she could feel, she would definitely feel the heat of his breath on her face.

"What is there to get, Sally, huh? That while I was navigating my own twisted minefield, I was supposed to save Aidan from the she-devil he's sleeping with and his wily spawn, and stop him from killing innocent people, all while, what? Being your personal shrink to keep you from cracking? Because, Sally, nobody told me anything until it was too late. You and Aidan with your 'secret monster's club' – like the crazy and lost leading the psychotic. I knocked up Nora, then caused her to lose our baby the same day that I cursed her with my special blessing. Now she's gone – where to or if she's alright is anyone's guess – and I practically pushed Julia in front of the car that killed her. I'm sorry mind reading isn't one of my werewolf gifts."

A force blew Josh crashing into the seat behind him, the strength breaking it on impact. Sally dissolved and reappeared floating over Josh. No one knew the amount of energy it took her to remain sane. She was only a step outside of crazy and everything around her, within her, was pushing her inch by inch right back into crazy-ville. She wasn't insensitive. She knew what Josh was dealing with. "You still don't get it." She screeched and Josh felt pressure on his chest. "I don't expect you to fix my problems. It's a matter of consideration, Josh. Do you know why we didn't tell you about some of the crap stinking up our lives? Huh, Josh?"

"If I did, we wouldn't be having this gripping conversation right now."

Sally wanted to slap the sneer from his lips. She couldn't do that, but the pressure on his chest did increase. "You're such a self-righteous douche – do you know that?"

"That's news to me, but do regale me with _your_ educated observations." Josh smirked at his roommate.

He was goading her but he didn't know how bad that could be for him. Sally crushed him into the rubble with her telekinetic angry spirit powers then popped behind the couch as far away from the obviously wolfing human as possible. She knew it was the full moon talking, but she wouldn't be able to restrain herself if she didn't put some distance between them. Taking useless breaths to calm herself, Sally settled somewhat. Arguing with Josh wouldn't get her point across. Not with him on edge as he was.

"Josh, we didn't tell you everything because we didn't want to burden you any more than you already were. We didn't think you needed to deal with our stuff too. We knew – I knew – how much junk you were dealing with. We all had crap. Despite what we lead each other to believe – I'm a ghost I hear and see things – we all still have crap. Difference between you and me and Aidan is that we consider you. We don't hound you, Josh, or condemn you for anything foolish you've done.

"Remember Ray? Beating up that Marcus guy? Killing that vampire cop? Any of this ringing any bells? Stupid stuff, but Aidan and I were supportive. We didn't kick out Ray even though we knew he was a load. No. We gave you what you needed."

Standing from the uncomfortable heap on the floor, Josh, toddled over to the sofa, plopping down in the middle. He didn't know what to say. This wasn't the first time they'd considered him. They'd locked him in the hospital basement instead of letting him murder Bishop. Just so he didn't have to become a murderer.

Sally walked around the couch landing beside Josh. She glanced at him from the side of her eye spying the recognition in his contemplative gaze. Maybe he'd had too much going on to notice the effort she and Aidan exerted to keep him on the right side of their wrong. Maybe it was just now dawning on him. She wouldn't know because she didn't even think Josh knew himself.

They stew in the silence around them that was neither comfortable nor tense.

It was times like this that Josh found himself wishing Sally was corporeal. He didn't think she knew it, but despite her uncharacteristic placid demeanor, her eyes embraced a sadness he'd rarely if ever seen her express in front of him. He wasn't Aidan. She didn't think he was strong enough, cared enough, or there enough o open up to. He was just Josh the roommate. Not her best friend. Sometimes he questioned whether they had a friendship at all. There were times when they were there for one another, but these moments were so infrequent that they seemed like flukes. And here he had an opportunity to prove that theory invalid but all he could think to do was grab her hand, an impossibility that kept jumping into his mind even though it would never happen.

"I don't think Aidan cares that you're not butting into his life or that you're not the kindest person we know." Josh cleared his throat at her soft, incriminating words. "He – you and him – you have it out and then you're fine. It doesn't change anything for either of you, but it's out there. Acknowledged. The secrets are minimal between you guys. The bromance is sickening by the way."

"Yeah, well, so is the secret society thing you and Aidan have. The secretive looks and code speak just oozes _Spy Kids_." Josh smiled but she didn't return it.

"I cared – care. I – Josh you're the most sane – stable person I know. I talk to Aidan because he listens; he tries, but he's not quick to tell to me why I shouldn't do something because there are ten things he's already doing that I couldn't imagine existed. But he listens. He's kind of there."

Josh's left brow raised and Sally rolled her eyes. She didn't want to discuss Aidan's nefarious conduct or how often he did them.

"He's always in a rush, in and out, but in between the in and out, he sits down, checks on me, then he's out again with a trail of broken promises following."

"Oh."

"Yeah, but it's better than nothing. You, on the other hand, were either absent or delivering grand patronizing self-righteous speeches. I didn't need that, Josh. I needed _you." _She allowed the statement to hang in the air before picking up again. "I believed you when you said you would be there for me-"

"Sally-"

"I know you were – are living in your own personal version of hell, but who isn't. I created a psycho murdering alternate ego. Tall creepy – albeit sexy – man named Scott." Her eyes flicked to a spot behind Josh. "Who, after Aidan poke-ironed me, hijacked my mind. What's worse, Josh, this alternate world surpassed my reality in general.

"I was happy, and loved, and touched. I wasn't alone. I had friends and Scott – my fiancé or whatever. I could feel his hands on my body, his lips, someone loved me-"

"We love you, Sally."

"Yeah, conveniently. That was different. I know I didn't remember being a ghost or you or Aidan, but somehow I knew there was better." Tears filled her eyes, but she tried to smile through them. "Being alone, sucks."

A lump rose in Josh's throat as he saw a tear slide from Sally's eye. How did they get to this point? So far away from where he'd imagined they'd be after their first serious conversation. If only he could touch her. Sally needed a hug; as juvenile as it seemed, it was true. But hecouldn't make that happen. If he could, he would.

"Sally – are you-" he felt her hand slip into his. He wasn't shocked – a little – he knew she could pick up things or open doors sometimes, but it took so much effort.

Forgetting his thoughts, Josh gripped her hand fiercely hoping he wasn't hurting her but unwilling to lessen his hold. Eloquent wasn't exactly an adjective that applied to him. He too often stumbled over his words and came across as judgmental or goofy when neither of those things was his aim. He was more like his father than he would have ever realized without the woman sitting beside him. Everyone else just let him be, but rarely tried to make him take a look in the mirror. Sally had never done that, and she'd had to bear the brunt of his wrath because of it, but it didn't stop her.

Josh looked down at their hands. This was happening. Glancing up at Sally, Josh laced his fingers with hers. Time didn't stop or stall it pressed on as he observed the younger woman concentrating on their first physical connection. Her delicate features, her almost frail physique. Josh just looked at her, finally seeing her. The hurt, the loss, the determination. She peered up at him, and when her eyes met his, she smiled tightening her hold on his hand.

"I thought dead people were cold." It wasn't the first thing that came to his mind, but it was a thought.

"I'm not?" She asked furrowing her brow dropping the smile from her lips.

"No. More like room temperature." Josh informed quietly.

"Makes sense." Sally giggled and her hand dissolved under the pressure of Josh's hand. She laughed heartily then, as Josh stared on in shock. "Welp, I guess I can't focus and laugh at the same time."

Josh couldn't speak already missing the feel of her hand on his. The sight of her laughing again after everything took his mind from the absence. Before now, he didn't know if he'd see this Sally ever again.

Sally held on to the sliver of joy circulating within her as she rose from the couch. A visit to the park would do. "Thanks, Josh."

Josh turned his head to her retreating figure. "For what?"

"Being here."

Josh's lips split forming an "O," but there were no words that came to mind except maybe _you're welcome, _which seemed so inappropriate and too self-righteous.

Sally shook her head and rolled her eyes. "It's okay. _Everything_. It's okay." She spun around to face the door, before she phased through it, she yelled over her shoulder, "Bye, Josh," leaving him on the couch wondering when he'd become the least understanding person he knew.


End file.
